Boy meets girl...
Assim começam todas as histórias de relacionamentos... e, generalizando, todas as histórias, substituindo boy por girl, dog, god, devil, alien, house, book, gun, food, drug, detective, thief, job, animal, rock ou plant, girl por boy, dog, god, devil, alien, house, book, gun, food, drug, detective, thief, job, animal, rock ou plant e finalmente meet por kill, eat, create, destroy, read, write, buy, sell, fuck, bury ou lose. Deste modo temos uma matriz para todas as possíveis histórias que possamos imaginar ou viver. O resto são pormenores. Imaginemos o caso inicial do título: boy meets girl. Agora acrescentemos os detalhes a partir daqui:
(para criar ambiente e construir os personagens podemos dar um passado a um ou a ambos, neste caso de preferência contrastantes para se encontrarem num ponto ou inverterem os papéis ou semelhantes para caminharem juntos para o objectivo comum: o final... feliz? Isso fica em aberto para já para manter o suspense)
Numa versão clássica: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl and both live happily ever after.
Numa versão gay: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy meets boy, girl meets girl and both live happily ever after.
Numa versão moderna: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy gets fed up with girl, ditches her and gets new girl over and over again and lives happily ever after.
Numa versão psicopata: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy kills girl, girl’s boyfriend, respective families and pets, burns down their cars and houses, erases all proofs of their existence… ending A: gets away with all of this and lives happily ever after; ending B: gets caught and goes to jail, boy meets inmate, inmate gets boy in the shower, calls some friends and they’re all (except the boy) very happy for a few hours.
Numa versão de terror: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy summons a demon and makes a pact, boy gets rich, famous, good looking and lots of good looking and badly behaving girls, girl gets poor, ugly, sick and sent to Burkina Faso on A) a small box B) several small boxes, boy loses soul but live happily ever after… that is until Judgement Day where girl goes to heaven and boy goes to hell. Sequel: Girl meets boring angel and throws herself down from the cloud they were living in. Boy meets the good looking and badly behaving girls again and together they watch the falling angels drop.
Numa versão swing & dark: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl, both start to get bored and go to parties where they meet their neighbours, they get naughty with the neighbours and leave their little daughter alone at home, someone meets their little daughter, someone takes their little daughter, boy and girl gets devastated and decide to go around the world asking for their little daughter and, in the meantime, go and meet some more naughty neighbours…
Numa versão mais consentânea com a vida real: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl and have some kids, they grow older, boy gets bored and goes on business weekends more often, girl gets bored and hires a gardener, boy buys a convertible, girl buys some cosmetic surgery, spa sessions and tennis lessons and they both live happily ever after until one of them files for divorce or murders the other to go and live with the secretary or tennis professor. Kids get double share of presents during separation process and learn how to type and play tennis for free.
17 comentários:
Very nice indeed!
Boy writes blog, girls like boy's writings on the wall, girls flirt with boy, boy enjoys flirting and flirts back, girls enjoy flirting but are jealous of other girls, boy goes on with his real life and writes about that on the wall, girls get more and more jealous, boy enjoys all this attention that A) helps to mend his broken heart B) feeds his oversized ego
C) makes for a nice hobby
D) serves to hide the fact that boy is really in love with a mistery girl
E) helps to hide the fact that boy is really a deranged psycho
to be continued...
Tarzan, the screenwriter
Tarzan meets Jane, Tarzan falls in love with Jane, Tarzan loses Jane, Tarzan goes insane, Tarzan meets Chita, Tarzan falls in love with Chita, Tarzan marries Chita and they have a baby called Gervásio who knows how to recycle and they live happily ever after.
ahahahahah...may I add something??
Numa versão filosófica: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl. Immediately after he realizes there's no such thing as "falling" in love. Then he leaves girl and keeps on thinking of what means to "leave" someone, if that's a possibility, what means to be a person, what love is and if it is worth it and maybe life is a bunch of misunderstandings. Meanwhile is growing older and feels he needs do find another girl in a different basis. Then he finds the girl and asks:" Hey, you...do you think we could behave as racional beings and just want to think together?". "Yes, I do", says the girl. And they get their heads married still asking themselves, for the rest of their lives, what is the meaning (if there's any!) of their decision...
...and Gervásio meets Tarzan and they live happily ever after...lolololololoo
What's this? I'm no Woody Allen and Gervásio is no Soon Yi Previn... interspecies love rules!
IM meets boy, IM will never know how good falling completely in love really is if she can't loose the fear to try and risk it all, till then IM and boy will only be playing make believe without really happy ending in sight...
Tarzan, the uncalled for but nevertheless forthcoming emotional advisor
Gostei de "...and maybe life is a bunch of misunderstandings..." ao que acrescentaria coincidências, encontros, desencontros, concordâncias, desajustes e sintonias...
...é..."a bunch of misunderstandings" em diversos graus, o que dá essas outras "variantes" de "misunderstandings":desajustes, coincidências, encontros, desencontros, etc...sintonias.
I just want to add another version...the bilogical one, no less interesting than the others:
The biological version: boy meets girl and falls in love aware that what is happening is going on is just an "hormone survival camp". He asks the girl for her genes' quality and she shows him "the biological chart". Then they decide if the "gene mix" will be good enough and if the answer is "yes" they put their genes together and build a new generation. After that and because are both wise criatures, they fall apart to go on with separate lives.
Biological is very Brave New World...
Hopelessly Romantic Version:
Boy meets girl, boy flirts, girl flirts back, boy and girl think they know the rules of the game and that they are in control, out of the blue boy and girl look at each other and things change from fun to bróculos, boy and girl let bróculos get out of control, boy goes bananas for girl, girl gets head over heels for boy, boy proposes, girls acepts, bystanders get hurt, both live happily ever after.
(Hopelessly Romantic Version except for the bystanders - everything depends on the perspective you look at things from)
I'm afraid this Hopelessly Romantic Version comes true, now and again,and in a dreadful way to the bystanders...
"...things change from fun to bróculos, boy and girl let bróculos get out of control"...lolol...well, let's see...when do things change from fun to bróculos? Who decides when the fun is coming to an end and being replaced by a sheaf of broculos? What are bróculos anyway? Can that be accuratly defined ????
bróculos can be fun... the only thing is that you have a tendency to get entangled in the sheaf of the damned things and that makes it harder to get out... ;)
That's true...once you get into the sheaf of broculos you can hardly get out...that's what broculos' sheafs are about, right??
That is the fun IN the broculos' sheaf...
;-)
well, actually you're right... it's the mess that makes it fun... ;)
but also a bit more dangerous cause one can get lost in there...
It's me! Dr. Livinstone! Presumably from deep inside the sheaf of Broculae!
Hello!!! (This is Dra. IM, The Kind of Shrink, peeping into the sheaf of Broculae...IM has studied Psichology and teachs also, so...). Any help? Hello??!!! Is anybody in there??
ui... je me faire psicanaliser?
oui, oui...un peut d'analyse...(not french, please...ehehehehe...it's quite irritating...lololololol)je sais comme lire dans la pensée...interpréter les symboles...
(ui...pareço a Linda de Suza a falar francês quando chegou a França....tsssss...)
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