Assim começam todas as histórias de relacionamentos... e, generalizando, todas as histórias, substituindo boy por girl, dog, god, devil, alien, house, book, gun, food, drug, detective, thief, job, animal, rock ou plant, girl por boy, dog, god, devil, alien, house, book, gun, food, drug, detective, thief, job, animal, rock ou plant e finalmente meet por kill, eat, create, destroy, read, write, buy, sell, fuck, bury ou lose. Deste modo temos uma matriz para todas as possíveis histórias que possamos imaginar ou viver. O resto são pormenores. Imaginemos o caso inicial do título: boy meets girl. Agora acrescentemos os detalhes a partir daqui:
(para criar ambiente e construir os personagens podemos dar um passado a um ou a ambos, neste caso de preferência contrastantes para se encontrarem num ponto ou inverterem os papéis ou semelhantes para caminharem juntos para o objectivo comum: o final... feliz? Isso fica em aberto para já para manter o suspense)
Numa versão clássica: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl and both live happily ever after.
Numa versão gay: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy meets boy, girl meets girl and both live happily ever after.
Numa versão moderna: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy gets fed up with girl, ditches her and gets new girl over and over again and lives happily ever after.
Numa versão psicopata: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy kills girl, girl’s boyfriend, respective families and pets, burns down their cars and houses, erases all proofs of their existence… ending A: gets away with all of this and lives happily ever after; ending B: gets caught and goes to jail, boy meets inmate, inmate gets boy in the shower, calls some friends and they’re all (except the boy) very happy for a few hours.
Numa versão de terror: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy summons a demon and makes a pact, boy gets rich, famous, good looking and lots of good looking and badly behaving girls, girl gets poor, ugly, sick and sent to Burkina Faso on A) a small box B) several small boxes, boy loses soul but live happily ever after… that is until Judgement Day where girl goes to heaven and boy goes to hell. Sequel: Girl meets boring angel and throws herself down from the cloud they were living in. Boy meets the good looking and badly behaving girls again and together they watch the falling angels drop.
Numa versão swing & dark: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl, both start to get bored and go to parties where they meet their neighbours, they get naughty with the neighbours and leave their little daughter alone at home, someone meets their little daughter, someone takes their little daughter, boy and girl gets devastated and decide to go around the world asking for their little daughter and, in the meantime, go and meet some more naughty neighbours…
Numa versão mais consentânea com a vida real: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, boy marries girl and have some kids, they grow older, boy gets bored and goes on business weekends more often, girl gets bored and hires a gardener, boy buys a convertible, girl buys some cosmetic surgery, spa sessions and tennis lessons and they both live happily ever after until one of them files for divorce or murders the other to go and live with the secretary or tennis professor. Kids get double share of presents during separation process and learn how to type and play tennis for free.